Episode One - The Dream

It is an auditorium, benches stand in parallel lines one behind the other. Every piece of wood is brown. I am still shaking my dizzy head. Nothing is clear. I see a topsy-turvy world. There is a stage, all brown, with saddled green curtains to the sides. I am trying to concentrate. I am suffering to keep my head up like a stone is dangling. Walls are dirty… yellow dirty. I am shaking my head more. I try to look to my right when my eyes catch something… familiar. Is it her? Is she here with me? She is sitting in the bench right in front of me. Yes, it is her. I call her name, but she never looks at me. She holds her head down and she is not even looking. I call her again… I feel the echo of my voice… She is not looking at me… My head is getting heavier every second… I call her one more time and she starts moving. Time has almost stopped, everything is blurring, I am waiting to see her face… Suddenly a sharp strong sound screams through my head like a siren… Everything is clear all of a sudden. But it is not the same place anymore. I just opened my eyes.

My hands search for my mobile on the night table next to my bed. My finger tips run through the pieces of paper, hit a bottle of water and blow something to the ground before it reaches something cold. Metallic cold. I hold the mobile and stop my morning alarm.

This time it has been real. I have seen the same dream a many times before. I never felt it like I did this time. My eyes swim through the corners of my room. Everything is the same. It is just the same: untidy like a landfill place, all dark but of a few rays penetrating my heavy curtains. The door is covered by my hanging clothes, the desk has no space for a finger among the scattered documents, laptop, speakers, ipod, books and some wires. I still cannot see my carpets because of the plastic bags thrown everywhere.

Time is not running for me, only a few seconds have passed. The phone annoyingly rings again, this time it is a caller. Who else could it be! I push myself up and lean my back on the pillows. Pick the phone and press the button.

Emad: Good morning, Ahmed.
My mind: Good morning, Ahmed.
Me: Good morning, Emad. You woke up early as normal.

Emad: Haha, you tell me this every morning, will you just shake it off and come out of your bed?
My mind: Haha, you tell me this every morning, will you just move your ass out of your bed?
Me: You tell me the same every morning too. Today you have just gone a little bit more polite?

Emad: Yeah, my wife is around.
My mind: Yeah, my wife is around.
Me: I knew you’d say that. Hey, see you at work, OK?

Emad is a little bit surprised at how I am ending the call so he just asks: “Ahmed, is everything alright there?”
I laugh calmly “Yes, I just wanted to do something new. See you at work. Salam”
He answers in a confused manner “Salam!”

I can tell you what is going to happen for the next 8 and a half hours. I can also bet with every penny I have and have not saved, and I know I will win.

In two minutes from now, I am going stand up from bed. I am going to move five steps to the door. I am going to pick the towel from the chair next to the door. I am going open the door and move two steps to the right. I am going to open the bathroom door. Five minutes later, I am out. I go back all the steps I have gone before. I am going to pick a suit out of my closet, pick a shirt from the shelf, pick a tie from the tie holder and starting putting them on.

See you in seven minutes…

The clock is ticking. Everything is so calmly boring in the room. No sound but the whizzing of an old fan next to the desk. The clock is ticking harder. Nothing is changing in the room. He comes through the door. All wet and naked but of a towel around his waist. He stands in front of the wardrobe, picks a grey suit, a white shirt and a dark black tie. He starts putting them on.

See, had you betted against me, you would have lost all your money. I may seem like I am controlling my life. I could have sit in bed for five minutes and changed my routine. I could cancelled Emad’s call instead of replying and listening to the same wake-up call broken record. Yet in fact, I can’t. It is just a stream that is going on and I am no longer in control. If I had done anything about the last ten minutes of my life, I would not have been talking the same thoughts to you right now as every morning. I am no longer in the driver’s seat of my life. I have become more like a commentator, and I cannot change anything about it.

I am strapping the tie around my neck the same way every morning. I look to the mirror and I see the same face every morning. I still see the same lifeless sleepy eyes, the same round emotionless face and the same facial lines that no longer show who I am. Everything is just a redundant boring dream. Even in dreams I am not alone; She is with me.

I walk out of my room down towards the parking. My grey car is waiting. I start moving out.
Every morning I drive for 30 minutes until I reach my workplace. A prestigious tower in Dubai’s business center. My life runs in front of my eyes for 30 minutes everyday. I see the faces of everyone I loved, everyone I hated, everyone to have hurt me, everyone I hurt and every place I have gone with Her. Usually I never stop music while driving, but the morning’s 30 minutes to work are the exception for the noise in my head is deafening. I have a video-graphic memory, if the term goes. I cannot only remember the colors, the faces and the tiniest details around, I can also hear the voices and sounds like they were around back then.

I see this restaurant with kids area where we were sitting. I see the restaurant’s thematic red walls, the colorful kids area, the four little devils inside. I can hear their voices. I can see their mothers are trying to control their annoying noise. I also remember; for that moment, I was smiling. Images flip over and I see the face of the one who loved me the most, or ironically, the one that I have hurt the most. I remember how she tried all the means to tell me how much she loves me, every way but not a straight “I love you”. I remember her cracking tearful voice on the phone when I told her to accept her new suitor. And I can’t stop hating myself more.

I arrive to my workplace, park the car in my parking spot. Take the lift to our floor.

The lift’s door will open, I will see Mohammad - the security guy - sitting behind his podium. He will stand up, give a yellowish smile and say “Good morning, Mr. Ahmed… It makes me happy to see you every morning I swear”.

The lift reaches the thirteenth floor, the door opens. I see Mohammad - the security guy - sitting behind his podium. He stands up, gives a yellowish smile and say “Good morning Mr. Ahmed… It makes me happy to see you every morning I swear”.

I give a fainting smile and say “I guess you always get very bad Fridays and Saturdays then”
He laughs and spits a lie “I swear to Allah I feel bored on Fridays and Saturdays because I do not see you every morning”
I turn to him “Do you ever change what you say, Mohammad?”
He replies instantly “If I change what I say that what I feel is changed”
How hypocrite.

I turn to the signing in machine, slip my thump into the small green scanner. It reads my finger tip and says “Hello, Ahmed… Welcome!”… Hypocrite!!!

Times passes quickly in the office. Every now and then I stand up and move towards the big window screen, overlooking the Dubai towers. I fall into deep thoughts about life, people and creation. Thoughts that never change. Then some phone calls interrupt my thoughts.
Usually when I receive a phone call, it means a disaster is in progress. Ironically, I get phone calls all the time everyday. Strangely, they are the same phone calls repeated everyday too. I talk on the phone and suggest the same solutions everyday. I repeat the same answers to the same inquiries everyday. And I get the same savage headache everyday. I take the same pain killer everyday. I work on the same patterns everyday… and Emad comes through the door at the end of the day without knocking everyday.

Emad comes in through the door without knocking. He stands with his big belly keeping his balance, both hands in his pants’ pockets, a cigarette between his lips and smoke flowing from his nose.

“What’s up big boy, don’t you feel like your ass is going flatter everyday because you never move it from that chair for eight hours a day?” He says with his lips closed to hold the cigarette on.
I reply “Look who is talking!”
He moves the cigarette out of his mouth and says with his naturally loud deep voice “I swear I was thin when I was younger!”
I am turning off my computer, putting every document back in place and reply “And I was dating Angelina before she met Brad”.
He looks confused for a second and says “That is actually easier to believe than believing that I was thin one day… You should have chosen something more unbelievable if you ask me!”
“No, I was really dating Angelina before she knew Brad” Laughing!
“Really?” He replies with eyes wide open and chin almost hitting the floor.
“Yes” I reply
“She is not that beautiful anyway!” He replies childishly!
I laugh again at his reaction and say “How is your wife?”
His eyebrows hit each other head to head as he looks me passing through the door to the exit and says “What is that supposed to mean!”
I reply “You ask the same question everyday, Emad!”
He shakes his head off “Brrrrrr anyway, you hanging out tonight?”
I reply “No, I don’t think so!”
“I knew you were gonna say that”

Oh yeah, it is a broken record my friend.

I exit the floor, Mohammad is asleep as the habit goes. I touch the signing machine and it says “See you, Ahmed”

Don’t worry, you will… It is nothing I can’t control. It is just another day in my life.

And the noise never stop in my head!

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around
Oh, no

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

The Mirror - Prologue

It is a dark humid rainy night, the moon is hidden under thick pillows of clouds. Light is so dim as it comes from lonely lamps on the walls of the houses scattered around the street. Everything is dark around, except for a thin line of red lights that appear to have one end at the beginning of the street; and another end that goes far out of vision. It is silent. Nothing breaks the deafening silence of the night but the sound of heavy rain drops smashing everywhere on soil. The road is wet, tricky and slippery. From that far end of the road, where light ceases to exist, a speeding car slides into the darkness. Tires scream on the wet tarmac like a scary old hag. The car returns on course again; cutting through the darkness with its powerful headlights. It drives on.

Inside the car is a young man. His looks invisible but for some blue light on his dashboard. Only a dark confused face an eye could recognize of him. He looks with a sharp eye to his right-side mirror... He can see nothing, it is black. He turns to look at his left-side mirror, he can see nothing but darkness. Then he looks to his main mirror... It is all black. He turns the sound his CD player a little bit on. "Welcome to my life" it sings. He hears a roaring sound, so he looks again in his mirror. It is like looking into a dark tank in a moonless night. Suddenly, a blinding xenon light shines from behind. It is like the sun is on his back seat. A big 4x4 car then takes a takes over from his left. He could hear the voice of its passengers laughing as it flies by.

He tries to relax.
"I was just looking through that mirror and they were not there..." He tells himself. "Everything is fake. Nothing is real. Truth has become so fake and vague to reflect on mirrors."

He looks to his left-side mirror again... He reads "Objects in this mirror look farther than they really are"... Everything is a lie.

The singer shouts again "Welcome to my life... Welcome to my life"

He looks at the CD player and says "Oh yeah... welcome to my life"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

A novel is on the way!

A novel in episodes is on the way! Wait for it!

Wrong Track!

Light is off
No one there
An empty prison
Where nothing's fair
Then she comes in
Through no doors
Light is on
She is everywhere

The prison is calm, she ain't afraid
Walls are higher than she can see
And there to the left
A guitar is laid
She plays some music and silence fade

Walls are shaking
The more she is playing
My heart is singing in silent sighs

....

This poem has never been completed.

My Way (Great Sinatra)

And now
The end is near
And so I face
The final curtain.
My friend, I will say it clear,
I will state my case
Of which I am certain.
I have lived a life that is full,
I traveled each and every highway.
And more,
Much more than this
I did it my way...

Regrets, I have a few,
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do,
I saw it through, without exemption.
I planned each charted course,
Each careful step on the byway.
And more,
Much more than this
I did it my way...

Yes, there were times
I am sure you knew,
When I bit off more than I could chew,
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up, and spited it out.
I faced it all.
And I stood tall.
And did it my way...

I have loved,
I have laughed and cried,
And had my fill,
My share of losing.
And now,
As tears subside
I find it all so amusing
To think, I did all that.
And may I say, not in a shy way
"Oh no, oh no not me,
I did it my way..."

For what is a man,
What has he got?
If not himself,
Then he has not.
To say the things
He truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows
I took the blows
And did it my way...

Yes... It was my way...

لحظة... قتلتها

تمنيت اليوم أن أراك... وأدركت اليوم كم كانت لحظات النظر الى عينيك نعيما لم يكتب له البقاء. تمنيت أن تعود بي الأيام، وأن تدور عقارب الساعه للوراء كي أعيش ثانيه سويعات سعادة ولدت كي تموت. تمنيت أن أحدثك... أن أنظر إليك... أن أراك جواري حتى وإن ماتت الكلمات، أو ذابت من حرارة أنفاسي قبل أن تنطقها شفتاي.

تركت كل الناس... وجلست وحيدا... وعشت لحظه عجز ما بين أشواق تعتصر فؤادي و قله حيله تقتلني. نظرت الي السماء، و لمستك بوجداني و حدثتك بعاطفتي و غازلتك بأشواقي.... وفجأه ماتت السكره وعادت الفكره...

أعلم أنك الأن لاتفكرين في... أعلم أني مجرد ذكري أيام عشتها وطويت صفحاتها ككتاب قديم. وأدركت أن قلبك الآن قد يكون مشغولا بأخر ينال من حبك ما حلمت أن أناله....

كرهت دقات قلبي...
لعنت أشواقي...
و قتلت تلك اللحظه...
لحظه ضعفي

Random Thoughts II

"If I were a bird, I would fall out of weight"

"If you lose something try to get another: I have lost a person, now I am trying to buy a car... Cars sometimes are good alternatives for human beings!"

"Sometimes I feel I wanna drive at top speed, but when I do, I feel I wanna slow down a little!"

"If you try to satisfy someone, then you are trying to boil the water of the sea with a lighter... So you should either throw the lighter and swim through the sea and be who you are, or drown and die"

"Everything that has an end, will be reborn..."

"We are living in a world of bullets, bullets are more than human beings living on earth"

"One friend asked me "Do you have a dream?", I answered "Yes, and it is not for sale""

"One friend asked me "You are not a superman", I answered "Man created superman, God created me!""

'Because he feels like he has to do something, and be someone,
I appreciated him, he is someone you rarely find these days.
Those who are sitting with no goals, never trying to look into the future,
Crying opportunities they never had, waiting for a normal life,
Having nothing to do with the world but some illusions in their minds,
Evaluating things according to their own stupid criteria,
Stepping from one failure to the other, are... "Read the first letter of every line and you'd know"'

"The difference between the world of humans and the world of monkeys is that monkeys do not kill each other"

"I found nothing 'to talk about on the way to the funeral'"

"Batman wears black, Superman wears blue, Spiderman wears red, Flash wears red, The Incredibles wear red... Why the hell superheros never wear green??"

"He: Hey
She: Hey
He: How are you?
She: Fine and you?
He: Fine, too!
She: Great...
He: Just wanted to say hi.
She: Okay, thanks
He: Gotta take a look around, bye now!
She: No, wait...
He: !!!!!!!
She: I love you!
He: !!!!!!!
She: Okay that was a joke, you can go.
He: !!!!!!!

He leaves.... (True story).... Mad mad mad girls!"

"In order to convince someone with something, it takes forever...
And if he/she is that kind of a person that if you look through his right ear you can see what's going on on his left ear's side... It take no time, but useless!
That's why I love orders"

Random Thoughts

"Love is like matches... It either lights your candles and guide you through, or burns you"

"I used to look into your eyes and fill my heart with hopes... Now I look into your eyes and see them hanged on ropes"

"A step you take on a track you believe in is better than a leap you make on a way you never chose"

"Stab me in the heart, kill it so the pain dies because I am hit but still standing but it is my heart who cries"

"A tear falling from your eye on your cheek is slap on your face telling you (You're weak)"

"The pitch black darkness of loneliness is much better than the fake sunlight of an unrequited love"

"Cupid comes from Stupid"

"He/She says: I am in love... I say: You are in hell!"

"He/She says: We are in love... I say: Enjoy paradise well!"

"When you're left with no choice, write your thoughts and make some noise"

" 'One man will stand up for what's right' is good for a mobile cover, but foolish enough to believe in"

"الطشط قالي الطشط قالي يا حلوه يالي قومي أستحمي" (a sudden thought)

"Enough"

Free... But Nothing 4 Free!

Walking my way to the ambitions I see
And now I am free!

Days running fast, but I am no prey.
And now I am free!

Steps and steps done, and more steps for me.
And now I am free!

Doors close, doors open, but I'm still holding the key!
And now I am free!

Hopes fade, fruits die and fall
New hopes born, alive still the tree
And now I am free!

Monsters I kill everyday
And everyday monsters reborn
Their claws hold me with my flesh unworn
But my heart still alive
And now I am free!

Battles won
Battles lost
Battles waited
Battles feared
Battles to come
That's nothing weird
My armours on my chest
Torn but protect me best
My heart is hurt but pumping alive
Stabs make it hard and survive
Slaps and slaps fall on my cheek
I learn the lessons and pay back, and I am free...

And now I am free!
And now I am free!

A Hamaki song with a story!

أخر كلام
أطمن حنساك قوام
أصل خلاص حعملك إيه
ولا حاجه فيك بتأثر وعتابي ليك
يا حبيبي أستهترت بيه

بتضحك طيب أضحك
وأبقى شوف بقا مين يوم يسامحك
لما تندم ع اللي قلته ندم كبير
أسامحك؟ قال أسامحك...
لو بموت ولا يوم حصالحك
أصلك أنت كسرت فيا حاجات كتير

هو أنت إيه مش حاسس
قلبك ده إيه متأثرش بأي لوم
ذنبي الوحيد حبيتك
غلطه وأكيد لازم تتصلخ في يوم

بتضحك طيب أضحك
وأبقى شوف بقا مين يوم يسامحك
لما تندم ع اللي قلته ندم كبير
أسامحك؟ قال أسامحك...
لو بموت ولا يوم حصالحك
أصلك أنت كسرت فيا حاجات كتير

طيب أضحك!
أسامحك؟ قال أسامحك...
لو بموت
أصلك أنت كسرت فيا حاجات كتير

Although I am not interested in Hamaki, nor was I interested in this song in particular, today I heard this song by accident and it -someway or another- touched me to the extent that I am blogging about it. I wonder what is to come... It is not that kind of song that gives u good omens, you know. Anyway, I still say... It -unfortunately- touched me.... I hope I won't sing it myself one day!

IT'S MY LIFE

I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd
You're gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud

It's my life

And it's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive

It's my life

My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I'm alive

Cause it's

My

Life

Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend,
Don't break, baby
Don't back down


(Great great great Bon Jovi inspiration... It's my life)

Down again!

And here I am falling down again...
Again
Again

And here I am falling down again
Same wounds, but more pain
To suffer

I think I can't take it anymore
But I still love you from the core
And the matter...
Is

I still have faith in you
In me
And I wanna be
The one who wins you
But you
Shouldn't lose me

And here I am falling down again
Resisting all what my mind tells me
About you

And down and down I go with my
Faith in you, and here I cry for you
To do

What makes have faith in you
In me
As I wanna be
The one who wins you
But you
Shouldn't lose me

Everytime I am asking why
I hold on to the one
Who seems
To be

A dream that is never gonna be true
A wish that kills itself for an illusion
I find one answer
That is

I still have faith in you
In me
And I wanna be
The one who wins you
But you
Shouldn't lose me

And here I am falling down again
And ready to take much more pain
For you

All I want is make up your mind
And put every other thing aside
Is it so hard to do?

Is it hard to do?

I still have faith in you
In me
And I wanna be
The one who wins you
But you
Shouldn't lose me

You shouldn't lose
Me
You shouldn't lose
Me

Hold me now!

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there's something left for me
So please come stay with me
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me

Hold me now!

(Creed - One Last Breathe)
Dedicated to "You"

The Mad Man Returns: Fucken Anger

(VERY STRONG BAD LANGUAGE USED)

Hi everybody,
I have been hesitant to publish this for long time. These are extreme feelings of anger that I express here the same way the Sandman expressed them on his Torn Wolverine. We agreed on the form used here. It is just as harsh and explicit as what's going around us. So stay alert!

(VERY STRONG BAD LANGUAGE USED)

OK,
You wanted to see me mad?
You wanted to push me to the edge?
From Black Thursday(s) to American green light shit
Here you got my maddest hit.

Fuck Black Thursday
Fuck the damn green light
Fuck their red and blue
And our black red and white

Fuck democracy
Fuck hypocrisy
Fuck your fight
Fuck your might
Fuck whatever you call your right

Fuck love
Fuck hesitation
Fuck every motherfucker
In the bloody stupid nation

Fuck your country
Fuck the century
Fuck mercy, cuses and Rob Van Persie
Fuck those who fly
Fuck those who cry
Fuck those try
Freedom is gone and you know why

Fuck motherfucks
Fuck the white suits
Fuck your guns
And your Head Goose

Fuck terrorists
Fuck motorists
Fuck everybody who resists

Fuck suckers
Fuck bloggers
Fuck door knockers
Fuck bitches
Fuck witches
Fuck your ass if it damn itches

Fuck me
Fuck him, fuck his, fuck he
Fuck tree
Fuck every fallen prey

Fuck the hour
Damn cowards
Fuck everybody in power
Fuck him and her
And he who gonna take the chair

Fuck the regime
Fuck the ladder
Fuck the ranks
Fuck their power
Fuck every son of a bitch coward

Fuck Marina
Fuck the North Coast
Fuck the rich
Die, burn and roast
Fuck the middle class
The empty and full halves of the glass
Fuck the poor
Fuck their weakness
Live and die for life is a tour

Fuck money
Fuck honey
Fuck Civic and Nissan Sunny
Fuck Geneva
Fuck Cairo
Fuck New York
Fuck every ambition unfree
Fuck you who think
Fuck what you wanna be

Fuck dime
Fuck time
Fuck shit
Fuck crap
Fuck rhyme

Fuck you
Show me your best
Fuck you along with the rest
Fuck that bullet swimming through my chest
....

Cuz I am fucken dead already!

Ordinary (by Train)

Whose eyes am I behind
I don’t recognize anything that I see
Whose skin is this design
I don’t want this to be the way that you see me

I don’t understand anything anymore
In this world that I’m tired of
Is taking me right up these walls
That I climb up
To get to your story
It’s anything but ordinary

And when the world is on its knees with me its fine
And when I come to the rescue I get nothing but left behind
Everybody seems to be getting what they need where's mine
‘Cause your what I need so very but im anything but ordinary

Can you save me from this world of mine
Before I get myself arrested with this expectation
You are the one look what you’ve done
What have you done?
This is not some kind of joke
You’re just a kid
You weren’t ready for what you did

And when the world is on its knees with me its fine
And when I come to the rescue I do it for you time after time
Everybody seems to be getting what they need where's mine
‘Cause you what I need so very but im anything but ordinary

I think im trying to save the world from you
You’ve been saving me too
We could just stay in and save each other

I'm anything but ordinary
(ordinary)
I'm anything but ordinary
(ordinary)

I don't know why songs start to hit me hard these days! (Would anyone understand?)

Dedicated to "You"... From Bon Jovi and Metallica

Bon Jovi: I could make a living out of loving you!
If there's something that needs fixing
I'm the man to see
Look me up, I'm listed
Just check under "A"
If you're ever on the spot
Well, I'm good with my hands
24-7 I'm your handyman

Odd jobs, hard jobs, anything under the sun
Big jobs, small jobs, baby

I'd be a rich man, it's true
If I could make a living out of lovin' you
These two hands know what to do
If I could make a living out of lovin' you
I could make a living out of lovin' you

Metallica: The Unforgiven II
What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

Dedicated to "You"...

I pray it comes true to end up being with you!

I walk through the streets
So loud are my heart beats
As I am thinking of you

And I remember that day
When you and I could stay
Talking like we never do

I also see your smile
And I am blind for a while
A sun smiling to me

And everything green
Reminds of what I have seen
When I looked in your eyes

I have seen fields of hope
And birds that never stop
Singing for you and me

And all I do is walk
Through the long way, no talk...
To my mind words would be!

As you are always there
And who else I would ever care
To talk to more than you

Who else would ever hear
The words I repeat so clear
To my mind about you

Who else would be worthy of
The beautiful three word sentence of
"I love you"

I reach where we should meet
I am barely standing on my feet
As I wait for you

I stay for hours and hours
And it is rainning like showers
But I still can't go

I can never just leave
I have been waiting for that eve
Since I have ever met you

I never lost my hope
I would never lose any hope
Because I have faith in you

Then you come out ouf the dark
And the sun shines in the park
Finally you're with me

I tell you how long I have been waiting for
That day when our fears are no more
And you smile to me

I can't contain my joy
You're Helen and I am Troy
And I'm ready to burn for you

Patience kept burning me
But still only patient I would be
If I gonna end up being with you!

And here we are now together
In our house on the river
Life is so beautiful with you!

I wake up as a guy
Did his best in one cry
"Are you blind, dude?"

He woke me up and I am mad
Although I am never sad
I pray it comes true...

I pray it comes true...
Long way but walking through
I pray it comes true...
Wanna end up being with you
I pray it come true...
I pray it comes.....

To God I pray it comes true...

Dedicated to you!

And now I wait my whole lifetime
For You
And now I wait my whole lifetime
For You

I ride the dirt, I ride the tide
For you
I search the outside, search inside
For you

You make me smash the clock and feel,
I'd rather die behind the wheel.
Time was never on my side,
So on I wait my whole lifetime.

(Metallica: The Outlaw Torn)

This is dedicated to you!...

(I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing) This song just tells all!

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
I don't want to miss a thing


Aerosmith: I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing.... I love you!

A Motel's Memorandum

On that road that connects the desert to the sea, there is an infamous motel... You rarely find cars parking there, however, there have to be some residents having a rest in that big old wooden motel in order to have energy to resume their long long rides. I am on the road walking and I see the motel that I knew it was there although no one talks about it. Being very tired, I decide to get in the motel and have some rest... As I come in, I find an old strong tall white-bearded man who smiles at me and says:
"Hello, welcome to the motel"
"Thanks, I want a single room for tonight" I reply as I smile back...
"Single room? No one with you on the road?" he replies back quickly raising his eyebrow with the same smile on his face.
"Yeah, I am alone, no one with me...!" I answer back slowly...
He smiles, nodes his head and says: "They all say this... Here is the key to your room!"
"Thanks!" I reply with a plain face. I take my small backpack and go up to the room... But before I move he adds:
"By the way, you can sit in the motel's garden and read the motel's memorandum... I hope you add to the memo yourself, all my residents do the same... You can also read what other residents wrote..." The same welcoming smile on his face... "Enjoy your time!" he adds.

I decide not to go up to the room and just go the garden... I don't know why... I just feel I wanna go sit in the garden! In the garden I find only one big empty chair, a round table and a red old book on it. As I sit down, I know how comfortable that seat is, so I stretch my leg on the table and grab the book.... As I open the book I find only one piece of writing.... I kick out any funny thoughts as I start reading:

"Umm... I don't know what to say... My pen is shaking in my hand and my thoughts are getting mixed up! Well, five minutes have passed before I start writing this sentence.... I have a story that you might enjoy... It is my story...

Well, two years ago, I saw a girl on the bank of a river moment before the sunrise... She was standing with eyes looking hesitantly everywhere... She looked so beautiful, but lost; she was like a beauty that lost the way. I approach her, and talk to her... She was so welcoming.... We were talking as if we knew each other ages ago... Every word she uttered hit my heart that was beating like a freak... All about her captured my mind, her voice, her smiles, her words, her eyes and even her lost hesitant looks... We spent hours talking, on the bank of the river... Hours that passed like two months... I feel I knew her ages before, I look at her eyes and know what she is thinking and what she is going to say... And my heart beats more and more as she talks... For a while I wonder what's wrong with me! But as I look into her eyes and feel that relief and admiration taking over me, I know what the answer is... I am in love!!!

You might think I am a maniac, or a fellow that falls in love with every woman he meets but this is not true. I know how you feel, but I am really in love with her, deep to the core... Therefore I decide to tell her what I feel... And I do.... She looks shy, then smiles and nodes her head like a "yes"... Happiness takes me over... I wanna jump, cry and fly... I wanna shout and tell the world how happy I am... Yet, something stops me, a feeling inside me tells me something is going to be wrong... I try to ignore that feeling, but I can't... We talk more and more, and one hour passes... She says:
"We have spent five hours here" With her eyes smiling at me
"Oh yeah, and still we got more time to go till the sunset" I answer back!
She looks at her watch and says "I have to leave"
"What? Why? We can leave together if you want..." I shout back in shock, my mind is trying to overcome the nightmare.
"I gotta leave alone... I am told to leave... We can't continue together" With a very cold face...
"I am here for you" I answer back in bitterness
"Don't wait for me" She replies...
"Were you laughing at me?" Anger starts to take over
"No, I swear no... It's just I gotta leave, they told me to leave" She replies!

I didn't say a word, she turns and walks away... Oh... Yeah there five hours... Only five hours.... I look back at the river... It is the sunset, just five hours after the sunrise!

I walk away and leave the place, but every now and then I go check if she was there... I still have hope I might meet her once more... I have not lost any hope in being with her.... Again!

Adam Gordon
April 1906
The Motel"

A tear falls down my cheek... I turn the page and all I find are names, names, different names with different dates.

"They all preferred to sign their name on this story, they said it is pretty similar to theirs" The old man whispers from behind. He moves and comes in front me and says "Didn't I tell you they all say they are alone at first!" The same kind smile on his face. "Do you want to write your story?" He asks...
"This is my story" I reply back... And I sign my name in the list.

I stand up to walk to my room... He calls me and says : "Hey, do not lose hope... It will help you walk through the long road"
"It looks impossible to me..." I answer as I push out a hot sigh!
"It once looked impossible, then it proved to be possible... Don't lose hope!" He adds with the same smile...
I smile back and go up to my room!

In the morning I wake up, go down and leave my keys on the bank... And I go back full of hope and dreams to continue walking through the long long long road!